Giving Permission To Ask

My 20-month old daughter and I were hanging out yesterday evening after I got home from work. I asked her if I could have a hug and get some love.

She told me no. And she went on about her business.

I caught myself asking her (playfully), “Why not?”

Advice only matters if you know what you want

Are you a dreamer? Do you spend many cycles searching for advice to help you get what you want? Or validating that what you want is something you should want? Or maybe you should want something else?

Receiving advice can be wonderfully helpful or an exercise in futility, frustration, or worse.

Off the top of my head, here are some categories of advice:

Morning is the worst time to read this…

I consider myself to be a creative person. Also, easily unfocused from productive outcomes. I’ve noticed that mornings are an incredibly important part of a creative day. Regardless of intention when I start the day, the outcome is highly variable.

I’ve noticed that mornings are an incredibly important part of a creative day. Regardless of intention when I start the day, the outcome is highly variable.

So, on days I *do* create, what is it that’s different?

The happiness container

There’s a saying: You are what you eat.

It’s pretty simple on the face of it. If I eat veggies, I’ll take on the properties of veggies. If I eat meat, I’ll take on more of the properties of meat. Energy. Protein. Fats. Etc. If I eat nothing but sugar and fatty foods, I’ll become fatty.

Sometimes I’m good at being mindful about what I eat. Other times, habits kick in and if I’m distracted emotionally by something else, I’m not going to concern myself with what I’m putting in.

But what about other types of consumption?

Holiday Stuff

When I was younger, I censored the way I gave and accepted my love and attention.

I was in my head all the time.

As a result I was lonely an bored frequently. So as my means grew, I bought more and more stuff. Stuff to have, stuff to do. Mostly alone.

Then as the Internet powered up, I bought stuff to ‘connect’ me with other people who have stuff. People with words, written or spoken. But still lonely and bored.

Over time I have shifted. I have stopped censoring myself. Stopped making rules about how to give and receive. Just taking joy in moments without labeling them or forcing people into the pegs of my imagination.

I am seldom lonely or bored, unless I am home with my stuff.

What do I want for the holidays? What do I need?

Less stuff.

Be happy. Be loved.

Happy Holidays equally to all friends and strangers!

Life after Facebook?

I quit Facebook this week. Well, mostly.

After years of tottering on the edge, with bouts of extended usage countered by weeks away, I deactivated my account.

Uttanasana – why am I activating the quads?

Day three of my new daily habit – breaking down a cue for a yoga pose for Instagram (and you – you lucky WP reader!) – almost didn’t happen. But with 50 minutes left in the day here it is!

The pose: Uttanasana (Standing Forward Bend)

The cue: Keep quads active with knees straight (but not locked).

Breakdown: The goal is to allow the hamstrings to relax and stretch, rather than contracting. When the knees are bent, that is a telltale sign that the hamstrings are engaged and contracting – the very opposite of what we want to achieve.   

(1) Engage the quadriceps in the front of the legs. This will cause the knee to straighten. When the quads are engaged and contracting, this actually cues the hamstrings on the other side of the legs to relax. Once relaxed, they are able to achieve a stretch! p.s. – don’t lock the knees as this causes hyperextension.

(2) For those unable to straighten the knee, due to overly tight hamstrings – I suggest using a block or a folded-up blanket to take the weight of the hands/arms. If the arms are taking the weight of the pose, this will also allow the hamstrings to relax and receive the benefit of a stretch – even if the leg isn’t able to straighten.

Morning Yin & Contemplation

This morning I dropped into a Yin yoga class at a local studio in Edmonds. I’m onto day five of a 30 Day Yoga Challenge. Conspicuously it is Cinco De Mayo – a day for celebration for many.

Yin yoga, by nature, carries a calming energy. The practice is not designed to work the muscles, but rather relax them so that the ligaments and other connective tissue in the body can have time to lengthen and release.

Coffee, is our long love affair over?

I have been away on an intensive yoga teacher training at a remote retreat center.

The meals each day were provided for and highly restricted. Vegetarian, largely dairy free, no added sugars, bread a rarity and NO COFFEE!!

That was a hard one for me. I am from Seattle – one of the coffee capitals of the world. I have had a relationship with fresh brews for over 23 years.

Vacationing: What I left behind

I’ve been back home in Seattle from a beautiful and relaxing family vacation for about 10 days. We spent a couple of days in Los Angeles visiting my partner’s family and then we got to enjoy 11 days on the north shores of Kauai.

This is not my first trip to the islands of Hawaii, but this is my first trip wearing the lenses of a transformational life coach. My awareness is just a little sharper, both of my environment and myself.

Hawaii has been my go-to spiritual center for a number of years; I go whenever I need to reconnect on sunny terms with nature, community and my authentic self. The air is clean, I can keep the windows open, people don’t suffer from mood-disorders related to vitamin D deficiency, and I encounter very little internal or external resistance in my day-to-day flow.

“Why can’t I do this at home?”

So it was no surprise when I found myself settling into the flow again during the first days of our visit. Not for the first time, an internal voice spoke up and asked me, “Do you NEED Hawaii to feel this way?”